April 26,2010 Monday....
The week starts again, I'm expecting that the whole week will be full of stress cause i always feel it naman eh dahil during weekdays a lot of customers are calling to complain as usual. Actually i had a great timewith yuyan and his family. In fact i spent my sunday and half day of monday sa house nila. Making a lot of sweet moments and so on..
That time i decided to go home kasi di na approve yung schedule ni yuyan. actually he supposed to trade his shift to one of our collegues but sad to say it was not apporved by the RTR kaya ayun we should follow the same schedule as last week.. I went home full of expectations na maayos na sa bahay. At first mejo ok naman but on my great surprise i was like a volcano who just blown out dahil sa nakita ko on my closet. Actually ok lang kung maayos sya pagdating ko eh but it was really annoying to know na naka lock na nga yun pero they still do the same thing na lagi na lang nila ginagawa sa mga gamit ko. I'm not selfish not share my things with my brothers but i really dont like na even my personal hygiene staff eh pinapakialamanan na nila. I'm the kind of person who know how to tolerate things but when i know that it's already abusing i really tend to freak out .
Because of my anger, as in so much anger kasi talagang sagad na yung timpi ko, all my photos posted on the door of my closet, lahat yun napunit ko because i know that it's the only way to release my burden inside kasi sawa na din ako to talk to them reminding them not to do this and not to do that.. waaahhh!! i already lose my temper!! eventually i said to myself na sana di na pala ako umuwi cause it just took my happiness away kasi while i'm on yuyan's house i really dont feel the stress but then nung umuwi ako nafeel ko yun kasi talagang nakakainis yun ganun na palagi na lang nila ginagawa sa akin yun.. but by the way that's life and that's my evryday life when i'm at home...
I went to work full of burden cause i really feel that i'm not being respected by my brothers.If only i can leave them and just live by myself i think matagal ko na ginawa yun. but i dont want to do that cause i consider my mom. My mom is actually the only reason why i keep coming back at home. She's the only reason why i stay at home kasi talagang i have to help her cause without her i was not here. I always bear in my mind na sila pa rin ni papa yung reason why nakapag aral ako kahit 2 years lang sa college. I appreacite all the hardships that they sacrificed for me during my study years and walang sawa ko sila tutulungan as much as i can.
It's really hard to know na kung sino pa yung ibang tao sila pa yung mas nakakaunawa sa kin.Sometimes i wonder if my three brothers are just unconcious or they're just pathetic?? kasi nakukuha pa nila magbisyo ng ganun though they know na wala na nga silang natutulong sa house. ok lng sana if they dont have work for now pero sana naman they should learn how to help my mother out even through helping her doing the hoisehold chores. But that's not what happen kasi they went home usually at 4am in the afternoon hanging out with their barkadas. and of course my mother was bothered and worried kapag ganun na sila umuuwi and because of that she never had a good sleep. That's what they do almost everyday and eventually turned to their habit.
Mahirap na talagang magjudge as of now. I tried not to make any comment but i cant cause i know that what they do is already out of the good zone.A ng akin lang sana just open their mind and most especially their heart cause the will come na mamwala sa amin si mama and i dont want to reach that point na aasa na lang sila ng aasa. It's no longer right cause they are already young adults and they should know what to do!! HAYS hirap talga ng ganito..
For now the best thing which i know i can do is to set those things aside and keep silent!!! Stupid but i just want to ignore it and as much as possible not let those things affect my whole being!!!
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